It's 11:25pm at night. And my husband is sleeping happily next to me in bed. And what am i doing. Sitting here looking like an elephant with my CPAP machine on trying not to move a muscle begging myself to start to get sleepy. I got up at 7 this morning due to a ridiculous phone call from a finance company that wont listen to us anyway and couldn't go back to sleep. Not to mention that the kids were already awake and screaming at each other. You want to know what it looks like to be me right now?
Did i mention if I don't wear this I cant breathe and my body tries to kill me? So originally they thought it was the obstructive sleep apnea that was keeping me awake but nope. No not just that.... Now i stay awake till 1.. Maybe 3 depends on the day... Or the seizure. Oh and this ridiculous thing makes my nose raw. And wet. But i can actually breathe at night and don't wake myself up choking so that's a plus right?.
My days aren't pretty and a huge bed of roses. I haven't put a bra on in i don't know how long and getting off the couch is a struggle. The flare that im in currently is hell on earth. And trying to sleep is not happening. But all i want to do during the day is shut my eyes. So welcome to a day in the life. Of someone with chronic illness. Some days it can look like this...
And then by the end of that day you've had 4 seizures and cant move for the next week so you put your hair up in a bun and live on the couch because you cant move without help and cant even wipe your own ass. Thank God for bidets.
Because you start looking like this
Its not pretty. But with God all this are possible!